Since I've gone back to school I've been really touchy. Anytime anyone says something I keep getting really angry. And I'm not really angry....I'm not sure what it is. Everyone is just getting on my last nerve. Misty said something today and it just made me mad. I haven't talked to her since. Don't plan on it either. She's been bitchy to me ever since she started wanting Shayne's penis.
I have never gotten the least bit frustrated with the special education kids, even when they were intentionally goofing off. And today I almost couldn't handle it. I don't know what's going on. I don't feel stressed. Maybe it's just all these huge things coming up this year. The weekend at college, the school play, going to New York, graduating, going off to college. I'm not sure. I just don't like what I'm turning in to. And it's really not just been this past week. Apparently I've been kinda like this since sometime in December, I just haven't noticed. I hope it's just anxiety about life.
I've kinda stopped caring about everything lately. I'm just going through the motions. School, work, life. It's just happening. I'm not there. It's really frustrating. Maybe it's the sleeping medication I have so come to favor. I don't like taking them, but it helps me sleep. I really don't think it's actually them helping me. I think it's psychological. I'm not sure how to fix it without becoming sleepless. At least I wasn't a bitch when I couldn't sleep.
I really don't know what to do. I don't want to lose friends and alienate people. I don't want to lay awake all night. I don't want to be anxious about the next 360 days. Can we just skip to 2010? Please.
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